You're My Humanity
by keitoshi
Summary: What happens if a human becomes a monster that lurks in the dark? Is there still some human parts left ones you became a beast? This happens to Roderich , through his thoughts he reflects on the past, and decides how will he live in the darkness while his loved one lives in the light.


**HETALIA: You're my Humanity**

"Where am I?"

"Why is it so dark?"….1 week ago I woke up inside a coffin ready to be buried the next day, I don't know how I got there all I remember was… drowning.

"Am I dead?" for the past few days I've been asking myself the same thing, but if that's the case then how am I still here?

Just a few days ago I was just a normal teenager living his life on earth like anybody else but now….

I feel different; stronger, faster, and my senses are getting sharper; I don't feel like my normal self anymore.

I wondered out on the streets in a trance and when I felt hunger I don't have the appetite for the foods humans prefer but instead I craved for blood…..

Yes! Blood, fresh from the vein of a living creature.

I tried to control myself but my hunger was just too much to bare. One evening I attacked a human in an instinct and as I sucked her blood from her warm body I feel refreshed… I wanted to stop but I couldn't, the taste was just too good and without realizing it I killed her, for the first time in my life I took a life. Feeling both remorse and satisfaction I lost myself….at that time I knew I was not me…

I stopped denying what I really am now ….

.

.

.

.

A Vampire.

For a long time I lived in the dark preying on things that I come across at night, I didn't care anymore who or what I prey on as long as its fresh blood. In my pitch black world I have nothing; I have continuously lost my humanity and became a monster. However, someone lit a candle in my life; even though it was just a small light, it brought hope to me, hope that a creature like me deserves to love.

Her name is Elizebeta, an old friend of mine but never have I thought that I would fell for her as a vampire. For when I was still human we were just good friends together with Gilbert. He and I both protected Elizebeta even though she said that she can handle herself, she is still a lady. Back then Gilbert always picks a fight with her because that's his way of showing affection. I didn't feel any jealousy; I just kept the playing piano as they argue, after their fight Elizebeta would come to the music room and listen to the me playing the piano, she said the tune always calms her down, and I would laugh saying to her" was that supposed to be a compliment?"

"Don't laugh okay I'm no good at choosing praiseful words" she replied, and then we would laugh together happily. Just remembering the past makes me happy, even though I live a dark life.

After I became a Vampire I never went near her or Gilbert, I just watched over them from afar. The thought of meeting her again always crossed my mind, I want to be with her again like the old days and express how I feel…but…I CANT! I can't take the risk what if I lost control of myself and feed on her. Being a vampire heightens my emotions and the way I want her right now is not good.

I have to leave this place, many people have died because of me and who knows maybe the next one I kill will be a friend. I should leave, Gilbert is still by her side; he will protect her, I know how he feels about her I knew that Gilbert loved her for a long time before I do now. It pains me to leave her but its for the best, me being here in my current state is too dangerous. I must learn to control my bloodlust, learn how to feed without killing….. but…before I go I must see her for the last time.

From afar I gazed at her walking down the street with Gilbert….I smiled at them knowing that she is safe even without me by her side.

"Memories of our friendship are still with me….. especially yours Elizebeta , the smiles and laughter that we shared are the most precious, youre memories are the ones that gives me light in this black world I live in, it keeps me attached to mu human self…you are my humanity."

She somehow felt my presence and turned around and stared at the direction where I am standing. I didn't hide anymore I just stared at her.

"Elizebeta! Hey! You still listening?" Gilbert interrupted

"Huh..ah yeah..that was weird, I think I just saw Roderich"

"WHERE?!"

"Over there on that tree"I left as she pointed out to my direction .

"I don't see anyone there, keseseseese maybe you're just hallucinating"

" Oh! Shut up! I know what I saw okay you dumbass!"

"Yeah yeah whatever"

Elizebeta chased Gilbert cursing him for not believing like the old days they're fighting again, I hope one day I would be able to join them once more, one day I'll return to this land until then take care of her, Gilbert.

_END_ I Guess?


End file.
